So most people would probably ask me why I haven’t tried IVF yet. The truth is I really didn’t think it had resorted to that until 3 months ago. After taking a years break from fertility specialists I always thought I would go back and start the different treatments and drugs again – pick up from where I left off a year ago. So when I saw the doc he explained to me that seeing that it had been 18 months since my lap to clear the endometriosis and still nothing had happened the odds were not in our favour – statistically I should be pregnant by now. And therefore IVF was now the only option. That came as a huge blow.
Besides the initial weepy “poor me” vibe all I felt was anger. Why do drunk and stoned irresponsible teenagers fall pregnant? Why do the mega wealthy have babies easily? Why do I have to make the decision to put our financial futures in jeopardy just to have children when its something we are built to do for free? Rational? That is something I have never claimed to be!
My best friend (J) lives in Joburg and I distinctly remember the conversation after my doctors appointment. She kept asking why don’t I just find the money and do it until I blasted her with the above ranting and raving. There was a strained silence on the other end of the phone. Then I remembered that she was going to go for IVF after 3 months of trying to conceive! And in the nick of time her body conceded and she fell pregnant. She lives in a world where she has the luxury of throwing money at a problem. Unfortunately I don’t. My husband is a teacher – yes, not a vocation known for bringing in bagfuls of money. I am in advertising – also one of the worst paid industries if you consider the danger pay of potentially killing or being killed by overly passionate or stressed out colleagues. Forking out the 30k for ONE round of IVF would cripple us, not only financially but imagine the emotional pain of it not working and still paying off a high interest loan every month?
So right now I am making a stand. I won’t buy the conception of my child just yet. I won’t stoop to the level of my doctors laziness at not even finding out WHY we can’t fall pregnant. I will find another way.
And once I get down off my high horse, after another year of nothing happening, I will probably bow and scrape together the funds and obsess about the contents of a test tube.
I hate that infertiles are always reduced to going back on their principles out of pure desperation. It’s very sad.