My husband and I have been trying to fall pregnant for over 5 years. In 2011 when I started the blog things felt so hopeless as we didn’t have the funds for IVF. I enjoyed the few posts I wrote and having a few of you comment really made me feel heard and supported. But I needed a break.
But I am now back! Thanks to my Darling Grandmother who passed away in February 2011 we finally had the cash to start IVF. So I thought it would be good to come back and share some of my experiences with you. There are loads of blogs out there but sometimes the IF community are so full of acronyms and knowledge that it can be intimidating for someone coming in new and unsure on what everything means or entails. So I will try to make my posts simple enough to hopefully provide some comfort and knowledge for those first-timers out there.
So who am I? I can range from sensible to freak raving mad depending on what hormone happens to be roaming my body. And my husband W is seriously talented at taunting the monster inside of me. This IF journey has also taken it’s toll on my softer side. I don’t go to baby showers unless seriously VIP; I am no longer syrupy sweet to young children; I don’t go to restaurants which are overrun by brats and I have had major issues with some of my friends AKA “the mommy club”. Bitter much? I leave gooey kids stuff to W who is a teacher of 10 year olds and is a general “brat wisperer”. But I want to feel a child growing inside me. I want to be the parent that I have always hoped to be, teaching my kids some of the lessons I have learnt.
So, am I on some downward spiral into the weepy, broody, unvalidated-until-I-have-children mess that you see on the Hallmark Channel? Hell no! But the bitching into cyberspace helps.
So to get the boring details of “my story” over with:
Husband has low morphology (shape of sperm) and ranges from about 3 to 5%
I had stage 3 endometriosis which was taken out in 2009 but has probably grown back (although shouldn’t be as bad)
Besides the 2 factors above we are relatively healthy
We are what they call ‘undiagnosed infertiles’
So on that happy note…I won’t just relax!